Connecting and understanding

I watched the movie "The Doors".  It was a movie  about Jim Morrison's life.  As short as his time on earth was.  He left his mark.  He was a poet, songwriter, singer and so much more.  His heartbreak was woven amongst the words that he put down on paper.  The pain and tears intertwined with each syllable.  It was as if he was speaking to me.  I felt that I understood his grief.  It was as if there was some kind of invisible connection.
When a person is haunted by things that they have seen or experienced in their lives.  Haunted by things that come out in the form of nightmares, in the wee hours of the morning. That is when the poet takes over.  That is when the only way to release the pain seems to be in the form of a heartbreaking melody.
When some people write, they hide the true meaning by mixing it up a little. With some truth and a little fiction.  Or maybe by using symbolism. I know this because I have been there.  I wrote a poem about a strangler that came out at midnight.  In reality it had nothing to do with a killer.  Not the man killer that I wrote about but about suicide.  Many times there are hidden messages and you can find them if you know where to look.
Jim seemed to be haunted by the death of the medicine man that he saw by the side of the road.  I believe he was the rider on the storm.  The ghost that was embedded in his memory.  In his darkest dreams. The one thing drugs and alcohol could not cover up or erase.
If you think about it.  Don't we all have those spectres peering into our lives from the dark recesses of our past?  The thing that we can not escape from.  Fear, hurt, betrayal, mockery, torture, belittling, bullying and much more.  If you have these things tormenting you.  Find someone to talk to.  Someone you can trust and who will listen.  This is a great start.

Seeing the world in grey

When you lose someone close to you, a friend, a lover, a family member, the world seems to look grey.  There is no color.  The bright things around you begin to fade into black. 

I look toward the heaven, for an answer.
The blue, sky is no longer there.
Replaced, only, by the darkness.
By coldness and despair.

The joy that was in my heart.
Disappeared on that day.
that day we were ripped apart.
As I begged for you to stay.

I no longer see the world in color.
Only in the tones of grey.
the rain is like tears upon my face.
Knowing that you have gone away.

Your soft, touch I long to feel.
Your sweet, smile I want to see.
What is inside, I can not conceal .
Only the loneliness, I foresee.

All the color has smeared and faded,
from the canvas of life.
Just as you have vacated.
It cuts like a knife.

Yes, the colors are only black and white.
Bright colors are not aloud.
I think it will always be night.
always full of rain and clouds.

                 ©Tammy Sullivan 3-23-18  For a friend who lost a love one.